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“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
Winston Churchill
According to Winston Churchill, resilience equates to people’s ability to continue moving forward despite a dilemma’s intensity. It means they consciously endure and push through, even in the face of the most strenuous complications.
But is this what it truly means to be resilient?
The word is experiencing quite the buzz in today’s society. But with this comes multiple misconceptions about resilience that gradually blur the concept’s value. This is an unfortunate situation we’re facing. After all, in order to encourage others to embody the skill, there should be enough understanding of it.
At its core, resilience is being flexible and durable under pressure and stress. It’s also associated with people’s ability to bounce back from any damage taken from adversity. With such a vague description of the word paired with its buzzword appeal, there’s no questioning the possibility of confusion. So, what doesn’t equate to resilience?
5 Misconceptions About Resilience to Correct
In his book Crisis = Opportunity, author Michael Pellegrino talks about the importance of resilience in people’s lives. At face value, it’s easily understandable what role it plays in navigating life’s complexity and countless ups and downs.
However, while the concept may carry a generally positive rationale, misconceptions about resilience can still affect how people perceive it. If it gets passed on and becomes more exaggerated each time, only time will tell until its agreeability gets polluted.
“Be strong” is a common expression.
It encourages people to push on with what they’re going through, reminding them they can conquer whatever is before them. But when such a pushy sentiment gets associated with a skewed perception of resilience, it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. Instead of empowering people to move forward, it just makes things seem heavier, almost unbearable.
“What if I don’t want to be strong? What if I can’t be strong?”
Once these contradictory thoughts cross people’s minds, do they automatically become the opposite of resilient? Knowing what is false about resilience is essential for people to acknowledge their strengths correctly. It decreases their chances of feeling like failures in life and pushing through.
1. Resilience is a Trait People Are Born With
One of the common misconceptions about resilience points to the belief that people are either born with it or without it. This is an age-old debate regarding any concept, not just resilience.
Is it nature or nurture?
To end any argument, resilience is both.
While nobody is born either resilient or not, it shouldn’t be discredited that people are born resolute. Everyone can stand firm on their grounds and be determined to face whatever is thrown at them. However, when it comes to resilience, such a trait is acquired. It’s a skill that’s developed over time through challenges people choose to pursue.
Everyone can withstand pressure. But if they haven’t been exposed to it, they may easily crumble. It’s not a trait that simply comes. Instead, resilience must be built. Hence, this entails that people can learn to brave through the numerous problems life puts on them.
It’s important to correct this misconception because it can be pretty limiting.
When one thinks resilience is fixed—they either have it or not—they start believing they can easily give up. “This is just how I am” becomes an overused excuse for people not to move forward.
2. Resilience is Never Giving Up
Although resilience is a state of mind against hardships, it’s more than just enduring.
When faced with problems, people can be too deep into the success mindset that they believe giving up is never an option. It doesn’t help how they’re constantly encouraged to swallow their tears and push on. This is toxic positivity at its finest. While resilience empowers people to try, it’s never about pushing them to endure and suffer throughout.
Misconceptions about resilience shape it to be all about mental toughness—to grit one’s teeth and keep on keeping on. However, it isn’t all about powering through hardships. Instead, people should find a healthy balance between pushing on with the possibility of success and knowing when to prioritize the self and emotional regulation.
Resilience is flexibility. It isn’t rigidity.
Determination is valuable. But if people choose to stubbornly stick to a limited approach and funnel their vision to a single path, they will end up exhausted and drained. True resilience isn’t about giving up. Instead, it’s being flexible to its possibility and being adaptable to this.
3. Resilience Doesn’t Have a Weakness
Resilience is strength.
But this doesn’t have to equate to the absolute absence of weakness.
Misconceptions about resilience might make it seem like people should never show any weakness. However, vulnerability is also a showcase of one’s strength.
People shouldn’t show any weakness as this, evidently, hinders their chances of overcoming challenges. This is a skewed way of looking at things. Instead, it should be understood that the more vulnerable people are, the stronger and more resilient they become.
Resilience encourages people to embrace and show their emotions instead of hiding them. After all, exposure develops resilience, which is precisely what vulnerability brings. Being vulnerable makes people susceptible to danger, increasing the chances of people building resilience. When people embrace both strength and weakness, they open themselves to experience more possibilities.
4. Resilience Means Bouncing Back Quickly
When people think resilience equates to bouncing back, whether quickly or constantly, this is an oversimplification of the concept. It’s one of the common misconceptions about resilience.
People ought to think that to be resilient, they must get over their struggles immediately. But this is a distorted view of the concept.
Resilience isn’t about immediately recovering from adversity. Instead, people should have ample time to reflect and heal from the experience. Suddenly bouncing back just moments after the incident isn’t being resilient. It’s running away from the truth of the event.
Simply because people take more time healing or moving on from the dilemma doesn’t mean they aren’t being resilient about it. Resilience may mean having the strength to overcome challenges and problems, but this doesn’t have to come with a due. People should permit themselves to heal at their own pace without the pressure of instant recovery.
5. Resilience Guarantees Success
Resilience is a positive skill but doesn’t guarantee an equally positive outcome.
The role of resilience in people’s lives is to facilitate growth and empower them to push through hardships. It doesn’t guarantee results. With resilience, people are able to power through difficult times and overcome hindrances. But once they pass these rough tides, this doesn’t automatically mean things will work out perfectly for them.
Resilience helps people find meaning in their experiences, even without success. It helps them appreciate the steps they take on earth without solely focusing on outcomes.
Resilience is a journey of growth and self-compassion. If you want to start your journey now, grab a copy of Michael Pellegrino’s Crisis = Opportunity. Understand the common misconceptions about resilience and find out how it helps improve your life!
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